Defeated...Without a Shot Fired

Day 337

I am a man so naturally I hate shopping. It's deeply embedded in my DNA.  Women love shopping, or at least they're practical about it.

When I shop I go straight for what I need and with the exception of a stop at sporting goods, or the snack and wine area, I get in and get out as quickly as possible. Unless I meet a friend and talk about sports or other male bonding rituals.

So when Irene asks me to go shopping with her to get "a few" things. I'm as leery as a rabbit staring at a wolf. And just as frightened.

"What do you mean by," (insert finger quotes), "A few things?"

'I just need a few things; two, maybe three. I'll just grab what I need and we'll leave. I promise."

"The last time you told me that we were in the store for half an hour. I was tired and wanted to go home."

"I know but, when we were in the store I thought of some other things I needed. I didn't want to come back, when I was already there."

"Yes, but you told me 'in and out' and I would be on my way home in a few minutes. And I wasn't. You went up and down every isle."

"That's how I remember, what I forget that I need to pick up."

"Do you remember everything you need this time?"

"You know we could have been in and out by now and you could be on your way home."

"If you just need a few things why do you need me to go with you?"

"It's late and I don't want to go by myself."

"Then why didn't you go earlier?"

"It's too crowded. I just need a few things and it would take too long standing in line. Please. I'll be quick. Just in and out."

"Just a few things, in and out?"

"I promise."

Forty five minutes later.

"You said, you just needed a few things. There are twenty bags here."

"I don't know why your complaining. We would have had to shop again in a couple of days if I didn't shop tonight."

"Yeah. That's what you said two days ago."

"Well, if I didn't tell you I only need a couple of things, you wouldn't come shopping with me."

"I don't understand why I believe you."

"You just need an excuse to take me shopping. You believe me because you want to believe me."

"I believe you because I love you. Defeated without a shot fired."

"I know."


Until tomorrow,

Ken