Why Get Married?

Day 88


Why do people get married? Ideally, two people meet and spend time learning about each other, they fall in love and want to share a life together. But that's not always the case. Sometimes people get married because that's just what people do. According to a certain radio personality Dr L, the sole purpose of a relationship between two people is marriage. Just look at the computer dating sites touting of the number of matches that result in a marriage from their particular match making formula.

OK. So what is marriage? Plainly speaking it's the government giving two people permission through the issuance of a license, to live together and engage in intimate relations. Then if it doesn't workout, you pay the government again to dissolve the partnership. Can you live together and engage in carnal relations without the governments approval? Yes. Today it is much more widely accepted than a few decades ago. But you don't get the tax benefits. And you will be condemned by the religious organizations for "living in sin".

So you've decided pledging your troth to another, is the next step for you. Before you can proceed you need to ask the other party if they are willing to spend the rest of their life intertwined with yours. This can be the most difficult task you've ever undertaken. The psychological aspects of a rejection can be devastating. But if you are sure your counterpart is ready to make the same commitment, then plan a situation when your courage will be at it's peak.

My favorite idea for a marriage proposal would be dinner for two in a nice restaurant, preferably one that is special to us both. After dinner and a couple of glasses of wine to settle the nerves, I would get down on one knee and ask if she would do me the honor of being my wife. What can I say? I'm a romantic. If this works for you by all means go for it. But there are some ways you just should not propose marriage.

How NOT to propose:

• Do not place an engagement ring in a glass of champagne and make a toast expecting her to see the ring before she swallows it.
• Do not take her to a major sporting event and have the proposal put up on a sign in front of tens of thousands of people and TV. You have put her in a terrible position. At best she says yes to save embarrassment, only to say no later when you are alone. At worst she says no. She looks like a witch and you feel like a huge fool.
• Do not propose just to try to save a bad relationship. In the end you will both be miserable. 

That's it in a nutshell. My purpose with this blog is mostly to entertain. Yet I have considered penning an advice manual containing "what I would tell my son or daughter". I have not had the privilege of fatherhood. But I am filled with life experience. So keep watching this blog and there may soon be an announcement of my pending book.

Until tomorrow,

Ken