Musings From My Mind: Elderly People And Ailments

Day 102


For decades my grandmother dutifully sent out Christmas cards until her hand shook too much for her writing to be legible. That's when she asked me to come over and do it for her. Like any good grandson in his thirties I tried every excuse I could think of not to do it. Alas none of them could stand up to the "grandma needs your help" guilty feeling that comes from trying to escape the infinite boredom of addressing letters to people who may not even still be alive.

As I'm writing out the 100+ cards (did she meet all these people on Facebook?), she recites her list of ailments to go along with her holiday greetings. I think to myself, "Why would you want to depress people with a list of maladies afflicting your person, especially at the holidays?" When I tried to skip over the ailments and just write "Doin' fine. Hope all is well with you. Merry Christmas" She made me start over. Finally I acquiesced and wrote exactly what she dictated.

Soon after I realized complaints about health is not just for the holidays as my mother regaled me with the list of illnesses afflicting the "girls" at the beauty parlor. Each one was trying to one up the others as to how bad they were feeling and yet could still make it to the weekly hairdresser appointment. If I remember correctly several of them were dying and weren't ever sure they wouldn't expire before their next appointment.

So what is it with telling someone else about your problems? My first thought was they were looking for sympathy. OK I guess we all do that to a certain degree. But the ones (and there weren't many) who did boast of good health at an advanced age were looked down upon. Seriously? I don't understand. Being young and healthy is a good thing, but being old and healthy is an affront to the natural order?

Next I thought it must be like a badge of honor to have debilitating problems and still be able to carry on. What to do if you age well and don't have any health problems? Make some up. No one will believe you but at least you won't be a pariah among your friends.

Until tomorrow,

Ken