Monday, February 22, 2016

Musings From My Mind: Apologetic Insults

Day 106


Quite awhile back, in my non existent musical career, I had the good fortune to actually sit in with a band. I played a harmonica solo (a few bars too long) and at the end we were rewarded with a standing ovation form about 200 people. The owner of the bar we were playing in even bought me a beer. A precedent ne'er unbroken. A week later I happened to be in the same bar and the band was on a break. There was an old codger on stage wheezing away on a harmonica. Well some folks I was with suggested I should go up and play a duet with this fellow. After much cajoling and the promise of a free drink, I stepped up to the stage and suggested we give it a try. The old fellow didn't even have to consider his answer, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm outta your league."

How could I possibly take such a tactful brushoff the wrong way?

Another instance, while at sea, the ship was having a chess tournament. I hadn't played chess much since I was young. My father, not a man to allow his sons to best him even to boost their confidence (more on this subject another time), soured me on the game of chess by employing the "twenty minutes to make a move" strategy, whenever I was close to winning. Being a teenager I had very little patience which he used to his full advantage. He almost always won. Frustrated, I quit playing. Now I was in my twenties and I thought it would be a nice to play again. I found a willing opponent. He was good, better than me. So after the first game ended so quickly I thought, "OK. I just need to get in a little practice."

But when I asked for a rematch I was more than a little surprised by my opponents response.

"Uh, don't take this the wrong way. BUT! Your not good enough for me to waste my time." We were at sea. What else was he going to "waste his time" on? That just made it doubly insulting.

It occurred to me a long time ago, if you apologize ahead of time before insulting someone, your not only an ass, you're a hypocrite. Your not sorry for what you are about to say or you wouldn't say it. Yet somehow, these jokers believe their honor bound by some higher power to give you the bad news that your not good enough. Incredibly, they make it seem that it's your fault they have to tell you that you don't measure up.

Now at the risk of seeming petty and unapologetic.

After his third try at "O, Susanna", a song not really fitting for a rock & roll crowd, the harmonica pro was booed off the stage.

As for playing chess, one of the officer's and I played several times after that. He won each time but did me the courtesy of asking if I wanted to play another game. After the fourth straight lose I bowed out, citing that my ego was too bruised to continue. It did mend rather quickly though when that same officer demolished the "chess master" in the first round of the tournament. Then suggested he should practice more. I was grinning so hard my jaw hurt for two days.

Tonight was suppose to be part two of The Unseen but it wasn't quite ready as I have had a very busy day. So The Unseen part two tomorrow for sure.

Until tomorrow,

Ken

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