Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Wednesday With Mom

Day 3


Why is it I wake up in the morning and jump out of bed feeling refreshed until I remember I'm spending the day with my mother, then suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head until tomorrow?

My mother is a master purveyor of negativity. It rolls off her tongue like lies from a politician. No one believes me when I tell them. Anyone who meets her thinks she's just a sweet old lady. She just smiles and nods her white mantled head while deciding whether she'll devour their hopes and dreams right then or wait until later. She's patient, my mother is, she'll wait until she has you completely fooled and then, oh so slowly, she'll start to whisper in your ear until your hopes and dreams have vanished. The Grinch loved Christmas before he meet my mother.

Today we went on a road trip to see my aunt and a couple of cousins. A mini family reunion if you will. My mom and my aunt are the only two of five siblings surviving. Curiously of the five my mom is the oldest and my aunt is the youngest. I suspect there may be a plot to "out live" all of us. My mother has already suggested she might out live my brothers and me (I only drink unopened bottled water when I visit her).

I pulled up in front of the door to her assisted living complex and she worked her way into the car. Right away she started in on the cook in the dining room. Breakfast was 4 sausage patties and a dry biscuit with no butter or jelly. She had her usual Cheerios. Dinner last night was suppose to be turkey but it couldn't be because the gravy was brown and everybody knows turkey gravy is white. I could have told her that I have seen brown turkey gravy that comes in a can but I was too smart to take the bait and just nodded my agreement.

The manager was having a Veterans Day celebration according to mom "just score points". Wednesday is evening bingo but as my mom noted "the prize box is full of junk". Once again I pointed out to her that the bingo is a courtesy for the residents and prizes are a bonus. This was answered with a withering scowl. After another round of which residents are "sick in the head" I just grunted. She doesn't really pay attention to me when she's complaining, so I can grunt, hiccup or fart, it doesn't matter so long as I make some noise of agreement.

We arrived at my cousins house after an hour of gloom. As we pulled into the driveway the sweet old woman persona surfaced instantaneously. We had a nice visit and before we left my aunt pulled me aside to ask how things were at the residence. She knows what my mom is really like. As I unloaded on my aunt  all of the injustices, I had to stop and take a deep breath, I had promised myself I wouldn't cry as that would not be befitting of a 56 year old man. My aunt just shook her head in sympathy and gave me a hug and a "go with God".

It was a relatively quiet ride home as my mother contemplated the parting remark of a cousin.

"We should get together again soon because you just never know."

Seems she has been attending a lot of funerals lately. Finally my mom looked over at me with an eager gleam in her eye.

"How are you feeling, kiddo?"

It was a very fast ride home.

Until tomorrow remember, don't believe everything you read on the internet.

Ken

Tomorrow a list of books I am currently reading. Goodnight.




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