"Dashing Through The Snow" Coming to Kirtland Community College

Day 22

Coming to Kirtland Center for the Performing Arts "Dashing Through the Snow" performed live December 11 at 8 pm, December 12 at 7 pm and December 13 at 2 pm. For more info click here.  Then scroll down.

Kirtland Center for the Performing Arts will be doing a LIVE radio broadcast of "A Christmas Carol" on December 19th at 5 pm. Broadcast on 100.3 FM. Seating is limited and no one will be admitted after 4:55 pm. For more info click here.

Until tomorrow,

Ken

Michigan Bigfoot or Dogman Does It Matter Which?

Day 21

Cut River at Lansing Rd Houghton Lake Area

Fact: A few years back a group of Bigfoot hunters came to Houghton Lake to film the stories of local residents claiming to have seen, heard or smelled the elusive Michigan Bigfoot. There was an ad in the local paper inviting anyone with a story to come to the Playhouse on a certain day. I don't remember the exact day but I do remember thinking I would have something better to do with my time than listen to a bunch of reality TV wanna be's. What happened next was about 18 months later. It doesn't matter if you believe me. I'm just telling a story. A fish story if you will because that's where this begins.

Lansing Rd is a scenic dirt road that runs about five miles between Roscommon County Rd. 100 and Michigan Hwy. 18. The Cut is a small river that runs from Higgins Lake south to Marl Lake along the east side then wanders through thousands of acres of mostly undeveloped land. Eventually crossing under Lansing Rd and then on to meet Backus Creek before spilling into Houghton Lake. The spot where the river runs under Lansing Rd was a favorite fishing spot for Bluegill and Rock Bass until the fish moved on. Now it's mostly tangles of deadfall, and home to a few small Suckers and one very large snapping turtle. And there's something else.

I enjoy fishing in this spot because no one goes there anymore. Except for the occasional sight-seer driving by it's peaceful, almost secluded. It was a moderately warm sunny day in the fall. I set up my folding camp chair, baited my hook and took aim to the left of the dead tree reaching halfway across the water. As I sat in quiet reflection of my wasted youth, I noticed a small black snake called a Water Moccasin slither across my shoe and down a snake hole I hadn't noticed before. I learned long ago in nature if leave it alone it will leave you alone. Usually.

I was there about fifteen minutes when the wind shifted and I caught a whiff of what I thought was skunk grass. It was at some distance away because my eyes hadn't started to water. Then I heard it. A loud bellow the likes of which I had never heard. It sounded like a cross between an elephants trumpet, a lions roar and a bawling bear. All mixed into one.

At first I thought someone was driving up the road with their sound system cranked up loud. But no one passed me and the sound wasn't repeated. I resumed my attempt to catch anything. A few minutes later the bellow came again only louder and closer. This time I could tell it was coming from the woods to the left of the river. I considered someone might be camping nearby but the trees and vegetation on both sides of the river is very dense. Also there are no roads or two track paths coming off the road and going into the woods anywhere nearby. Still I decided that it was just someone playing a joke on me. I wasn't about to let anyone get the better of me by running off. I kept on fishing.

It came again, louder and longer than before. Suddenly I realized the strange odor which had increased, was coming from the same place. The area was inaccessible. No one could get back in there, especially with a sound system strong enough to produce this volume of sound. This was no teenage prank.

A bear, I thought, perhaps coming for a drink of water or some fish. I kept looking to the road half expecting to see a bear standing there. Watching me. Each time I looked, just empty dirt road. My bravado began to fade. Fifteen minutes passed and I thought the creature must have moved on. Anxiety built inside me. I reasoned the fish weren't biting so I reeled in my line and began to pack up my gear. I glanced at the road. Nothing

Now let me interject right here that I am a portly man. I weigh over 300 lbs. If you were being chased by a bear, I'm the one you would want along because you could outrun me. But let me tell you, when I heard that last roar, sounding like it was right next to my ear, I could have outrun Satan himself. It wasn't until I was in my Ford Explorer, fishtailing down the road spraying dirt and gravel everywhere, that I chanced a look in my rear view mirror. All I could see was the fishing gear and chair I had left behind.

I stopped and made a Y turn, driving back toward the river over pass. There was nothing but dirt road. I loaded up my gear and kept on driving west to M-18. I thought I might catch sight of some of some jokers having a laugh at my expense. I didn't see anyone until I got to M-18.

It was a few months later that I remembered the television show on Bigfoot. It was on OnDemand so I watched it. My experience was not exclusive as others had described hearing an almost identical sound and describing the same odor. I was not alone.

 Eventually I went back but I haven't heard the sound since then. I have found several extremely large and deep prints, like a dogs prints only bigger and wider. Was it Bigfoot? Was it Dogman? The footprints would lean toward the later. I have seen those prints near the Muskegon River also though no odor or sound.

Well, that's my story. Believe it, don't believe it. It doesn't change anything. But if you find yourself on Lansing Rd by the Cut River, and there's an odor like skunk grass in the air, I would just keep on going. After all the fishing there isn't very good. Besides I've found if you leave nature alone it will leave you alone. Usually.

Until tomorrow,

Ken

Houghton Lake Ice Fishing 2015 No Ice Yet

 Day 20

There is no joy in shanty town because there's no ice and no telling how soon there will be. Last year at this time there was already an ice angler on the lake. Ill advised to be sure but every year someone has to try for bragging rights, to be the first fisherman on the ice. No matter how dangerous. So far this year there is not even a hint of ice. Whitecaps can still be seen in a high wind.

The reason as I understand it is a tropical storm called El Nino (there's a tilde above the n you just can't see it). This causes warm air to work it's way north giving us in Michigan a mild winter. The last time we had one of these tropical storms the lake barely iced over in time for Tip Up Town in late January.

My rule of thumb is when the temperature drops below 50 degrees I put my boat away. If a warm spell comes through I go to Reedsburg and fish from shore. I seldom trudge out onto the lake for ice fishing so I don't mind a nice warm winter. It keeps my heating bill down. But many people here do enjoy winter fishing. The proof is in the number of fishing shanties on the lake when the ice is thick enough. Groups of shanties pop up as fisherman return to their favorite fishing spot. Others just assume the fishing must be good wherever there is a large number of wooden shacks. Mostly people fish near a bait and tackle store for the convenience and the parking.

The last couple of years the temperatures have been at record lows and the ice thickness may have hit records too. This is great for snowmobiles and quad runners but the extra thick ice took a toll on fishing with higher than normal winter kill numbers. This is the number of fish that die during the winter due to low oxygen levels caused by the ice limiting the amount of sun getting to the vegetation which produces oxygen.

Some of the smaller bodies of water were hit hard and fishing has not been as good as in past years. Two of my favorite small fishing areas Reedsburg Dam and Backus Lake were definitely down the past two years. I want everyone to have a good fishing experience in the winter time, but if the fish population isn't given a chance to survive, the sport will suffer in the long run.

When I see some ice I'll be sure to let my readers know. Come back again, come back often.

Until tomorrow,

Ken

It Ain't Easy Looking Like Santa During the Holidays

Day 19

It's not easy looking like Santa Claus around November and December or even in January. All of you portly men out there with the gray or white hair and beard, know what I am talking about. It's a difficult responsibility to represent a true icon of the season. Even if you don't do it professionally you have a certain level of decorum that must be upheld, that is to say, you must be good for goodness sake.

When strolling through the local shopping mall (not for the faint of heart) some finger pointing, toothy grins and whispering are to be expected. Also swarms of children gathering around you, making a quick escape near impossible. If you should fall prey to the joys of young children confiding in you their most secretive desired toy for Christmas, the one they won't be able to live without, expect two unpleasant possibilities.

The first possibility is the shop keeper, who is paying a professional Santa to draw the children and the parents into his store, will call mall security and accuse you of being a wanted felon. Thus eliminating the competition for the tykes attentions and drawing them back into his store where the real Santa is waiting with candy canes and promises of on time deliveries from the store.

The second possibility is the child will ask for something the parents have no desire or ability to purchase. This will place you between a persistent child and the tired, quick tempered parent(s). A wrong answer here results in a crying child; or a parent who wants to do you bodily harm. Either way it will most likely attract the attention of the glory seeking mall cop. Which will result in your detention in a small white room smelling of cheap cologne from the teenager who was trying to shoplift some costume jewelry for his imaginary girlfriend. A most unpleasant way to spend an evening.

Then there's January. When disappointed children run up to you and grill you for answers explaining why they didn't receive the requested item for Christmas, or why should they be "nice" if Santa's not going to come across with the goods? After a swift kick to your shin they walk away. But take heart it's nothing personal. Their anger is for the mall store Santa. If you see the lying jerk I say pay it froward and kick him in both shins and let him know who it was from.

To avoid the discomfort my suggestion is; Just for Men hair dye, or hibernate until spring when the season of good will toward men is over. If neither of these solutions appeals then my third option is go to your local thrift store and purchase some soccer shin guards.

Until tomorrow then,

Ken

Happy Thanksgiving From Me to You

Day 18

On this day I am thankful:

For another year to make amends for the wrongs I have done

For my faith, which like a candle in the window guides me home

For family and friends whose love surrounds me like a warm blanket on a cold winters night

For all of my readers

Happy Thanksgiving,

Ken

Here's a Shot of Wild Turkey

Day 17

It's the day before Thanksgiving and the day started in the usual way which I won't elaborate on here. I dragged my feet into the kitchen to find the coffee wasn't made. Probably because I hadn't made it. While the coffee maker was spitting out the dark, bitter brew that makes my mornings bearable, a thought occurred to me that I should wash the dinner dishes from the night before. This is called multi-tasking.

I began filling the sink and glanced out of the window to see how much snow was left on the ground (the previous day had been warm). When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear? The two legged delight from many a Thanksgiving dinner. There must have been thirty of them or more, both young and old. I've noticed some very late hatchlings this past summer. It must have something to do with the very cold and harsh winters we've had recently. I watched them as they slowly turkey trot past my window. The tom turkey coming up the rear gave me the stink eye with his beard bristling.

I grabbed my new cell phone with the built in camera and tried to take a shot of wild turkey, but the window was too dirty for a clear picture. The front of the procession had gone around the end of my house so I went to the front doorwall. As soon as I slid it open my old tom cat leapt inside and turned to see if he had been followed. My cat is a bad ass when their sparrows, but not so tough with wild turkeys as large as a medium size dog.

I soon realized the phone wouldn't do. So I grabbed my 35mm Nikon. After my first attempt to get the shot, the turkeys had turned around and headed for the back of my neighbors house. Quickly I followed them trying to a picture but I didn't have the 200mm zoom lens on the camera and I couldn't get close enough.

I returned with the stronger lens in a jiffy but the birds had already flown the coup. It's all good though, tomorrows turkey won't be going anywhere but my belly.

Until then,

Ken

Star Wars The Force Awakens: Where No Movie has Gone Before

Day 16

Let me clear this up first. I know “To boldly go where no man has gone before” is the opening for Star Trek not Star Wars.

.

Now to the point, which is $50 million in pre-release tickets being sold for the next installment of the Star Wars franchise now produced by Disney. Already $50 million and still 3 weeks before the opening. Thus far only Daniel Fleetwood, the fan who had terminal cancer, has seen it. Disney granted his request for a private showing because doctors told him he wouldn't live until the December opening. Disney agreed, quite graciously, and allowed Mr. Fleetwood to see the unfinished product. He passed away not long after. May the force be with him.

Back in 1977 when the first installment came out I refused to see it. I thought, seriously, who wants to see a movie with a name like Star Wars. It's right up there with Plan 9 from Outer Space (an Ed Wood piece of B trash). When the movie had been selling out for six months at the largest indoor screen in the Detroit area, the Americana theater, I figured it was worth a look. As I stood in line for 24 hour advance tickets, something unheard of in 1977, I was praying this was not another cult following like Rocky Horror Picture Show (Rocky Horror generally only played at midnight to hardcore fans shouting at the movie screen and occasionally dancing along with actors).

So when the lights went down and the opening story lines reverse rolled up and away from the audience, a nice effect, I thought it might not be so bad. A few minutes later came the sound of massive engines booming over the theater sound system as the most detailed spaceship I had ever seen in a movie cruised down the screen as if flying overhead. George Lucas had created a miracle of special effects. I was blown away and became an instant lifetime Star Wars fan. I have seen all of the movies numerous times and have read many of the over 100 books. A must for any Star Wars fan as the books answer many questions, such as how is a lightsaber made. Hint: very carefully.

My only regret at this time is that with the early success of the most recent addition it could be six months before it even makes it to the Pines our small town movie theater. Until it does I'll wait with anticipation of the new marvels that await.

So I learned long ago that while we should not judge a book by it's cover, it is also true we should not judge a movie by it's title. Until tomorrow.

Ken

Bad Kitty and a Kindle Fire

Day 15

If you have been reading Houghton Lake Adventures you'll probably remember that I purchased a Kindle Fire 7 a couple of weeks ago, mostly for the purpose of reading free classic books on Amazon. So far it has served that purpose admirably.

I enjoy reading in the evening when I retire to my bed. I generally lay on my stomach and prop the Kindle up on the headboard. Sometimes I lie on my back but normally I lay on my stomach.

I have two cats; one male, one female. The male is known by several names depending on his mood. Usually I call him Pretty Boy. 

Now Pretty Boy is a big orange tabby tomcat and he likes to sleep with me at night. When I go to bed he joins me. After walking back and forth between my Kindle and myself he'll sit down to the right, then scootch up as close as possible to the edge of the reader and ever so slowly lower his head toward the other side.

I move the Kindle to my left until it is perched on the very edge of the bed. Again I have a clear view of the 7” screen. The Kindle Fire 7, like other tablets has a touchscreen. When I want to turn the page I just tap or swipe the screen. I suspect Pretty Boy knows this and occasionally bats or swipes the screen with his paw. He places his paw on the screen and the page turns several times. I get angry. I shoo Pretty Boy away.

A moment later he comes back and lays down with his backside facing the Kindle. I scratch his ears. He swings his tail in a circle like a pitcher winding up for the fastball. Thump. He hits the screen. The page turns but I can't tell if it went forward or backward. I try forward. Thump goes the tail. Pretty Boy purrs. I search for the lost page, but I can't remember what I read last. Back, back, back to a page I remember reading. Going forward, rereading each page until I finally reach my previous place.

Pretty Boy looks at me. He smiles and purrs loudly and before I can chase him away...thump, thump, thump. He gets off three lightning quick shots. A real gunslinger shooting from the hip. I scream. He yawns, stretches and begins to clean his tail. Then he kneads my brand new bedspread comforter with his claws. Finished he moves away and curls up on the other side of the bed. Gotta love 'em.

Until tomorrow,

Ken

Sunday Dinner and a Tic Tac

Day 14

In days gone by Sunday afternoon a short ride in the family car to grandmas for dinner. I grew up in the Royal Oak, a suburb of Detroit, and grandma lived just a few city blocks away with her second husband whom I called grandpa. The smell of chicken and hot grease filled the small two bedroom house. My grandma loved to cook and her fried chicken was legendary.

Grandma raised my father as a divorced mother during the Great Depression. She worked as waitress and my father would sell vegetables from the garden for extra money. They lived in a small studio apartment above a garage and the extra money helped pay the rent. During those years she learned to conserve everything. Including the grease she used to fry the chicken. After frying, when the grease had cooled she would pour it back into the container and save it for next time. I suspect that was part of the reason her chicken tasted so special.

My brother and I would tear off our coats the instant we came through the side door. The house would be so warm from the cooking in the kitchen, we broke out in a sweat even on a winter day. The yard seemed so big because the lot next to the house was empty. My brother and I spent many a day imaging we were secret agents or big hunters in deepest, darkest Africa. We had no Gameboy or Xbox. No cable tv or internet. Just a branch fallen out of a tree or an occasional cardboard box and our imaginations. It was all we needed.

I moved to northern Michigan shortly after my grandma passed away. She was 97. The last few years of her life were spent in a nursing home. She wanted so much to leave but she couldn't get out of bed. My visits grew farther in between as she would always ask me to take her home and I would make up some reason why I couldn't.

It's Sunday and I go to visit my mom. I know there will be no fried chicken. My grandma and my mom were polar opposites. My mom knows basic cooking but she would rather not. At the place she's living she pays monthly for three meals a day. She complains about each and every meal. Yet she won't cook in her room. I eat either before or after I visit. While I'm there, if I'm lucky, she'll offer me a Tic Tac. Just one. Who eats just one Tic Tac?

Until next time.

Ken

Football Saturday MSU vs Ohio State & U of M takes on Penn State

Day 13

High school football around the Houghton Lake Area has been over for a few weeks and college is coming to a close in another week.

"Coach Harbaugh said WHAT?"

Coach Harbaugh's wish does NOT come true. I can't believe ANY Michigan man would ever utter the words "Go Bucks" (Buckeyes). The loud noise coming from Ann Arbor was the sound of Michigan fans sucking in their breath.Eyes bulging in disbelief. Coach Harbaugh's justification? "I'm for anything that's good for Michigan". I have to ask, "How is Ohio State winning EVER good for Michigan" Coach Harbaugh is INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE! If you have ecer watched him on the sideline I'm sure you'll agree.

Michigan State is in the driver seat for the Big Ten East after winning 17-14 over Ohio State. GLORIOUS. Not only did they win, they won using two backup quarterbacks when starter Connor Cook (injured in last weeks game) couldn't go.  If they get a win over Penn State next week, they will face Iowa in the Big Ten Championship in Indianapolis. GO SPARTANS. I'm sure the folks in Lansing will take the high road and root for Michigan over Ohio State. Or at least be indifferent.

 Oh, and Michigan won too.

That's all for today. I have to watch the Pistons and get rested for the Lions game tomorrow. I should have plenty to say about that. Goodnight and come back soon,

Ken

Ebay on My Mind & Over 100 Views...Thank You Readers

Day 12

Houghton Lake Adventures has reached over 100 views. It can't be my mom, she doesn't have the internet. They can't all be by accident. So somebody is reading my blog. To you I say, "Thanks". 

I have many more entries to make on my way to 365 straight days of blogging. I am doing this to work myself into the habit of writing everyday. I hope that soon I will be able to list my published novels as that is the overall goal.

Today I'm trying to work on my Ebay business. I need to get into the habit of spending a certain number of hours each day on listing merchandise (though I would rather be writing). I sell used clothes on Ebay and I have bags upon bags of clothes yet to be listed. They are cluttering up my home. Now is the best time of the year for selling suits and sport coats, dress shirts and neckties. So it must be done.

Shopping is the fun part. I drive to several thrift stores and cherry pick the best high end clothes and resell them on the internet. First comes the photographing and close inspection for flaws. Taking measurements. Then load photos to my computer and sort photos for easier loading to the internet. Finally setting up on Ebay, loading pictures and writing a description including measurements. Then do it again and again and again until I can't stand anymore. The next day start over. Just like a real job.

It's not hard work, it's just BORING! At least the listing is boring. Shopping is fun hence all of the bags of clothes. My plan is to get these listed and out of here either by selling or returning the ones that don't sell to the thrift store. I just want my house back. 

Thanks again for the 100 + views. Come back again soon.

Ken

Santa's Workshop is Coming to Houghton Lake Playhouse This Sunday November 22,2015

Day 11

Santa checking his list

Santa Claus IS coming to town this Sunday, November 22,2015 to the Houghton Lake Playhouse on M-55 in Houghton Lake. Santa and Mrs Claus are coming to spread some Christmas cheer at the annual Santa's Workshop sponsored by the Houghton Lake Chamber of Commerce and local businesses. The workshop is from 10 am to 3 pm. C'mon out and start the season right. Hope to see you there.  

The weather report for Saturday is 3-5 inches of snow. Coincidence? I think NOT! The big guy just wants to get us in the mood. Plus the sleigh works better on snow than asphalt. Until tomorrow thanks for stopping by.

Ken

Musings from My Mind on Life After Death

Day 10

I have never been very good about what to say at a funeral. The standard lines he/she is; in a better place, at peace, at rest, with God... seem so cliche. I try to say is something comforting from the heart.

Is there life after death? Or when we die, do we just cease to exist? These questions have plagued man since he first questioned human mortality.

What really happens? Are we in a palace sitting with God? Do we meet all of the people we knew who passed before we did? Or do we come to an end when the synapses in the brain stop firing and the body can no longer function on it's own?

If there is a heaven and we get what we want all the time, won't that get boring? If I'm fishing in heaven and I'm always catching record size fish in large numbers, where is the challenge?

Conversely why should I try to live a good life if there's no reward at the end?

 It depends on what you believe. It's a matter of faith.

Here's my two cents. Everything on this planet (probably in the universe) is recycled. Nothing just ceases to exist. Everything eventually breaks down and is reused. We are born of this earth and when we die our bodies return to this earth as food for others, from bacteria on up. We consume other inhabitants of earth from animals to plants to fish to water and even bacteria. It's a synergy. This system has worked since time began. That's what happens to our bodies. So why should our mind, the very essence of who we are, be wasted?

We are more than just flesh, blood and bone. We think, we reason, we question our own existence. Our minds are a culmination of our experiences which are wholly unique to each individual. This can be attributed to experiences and perception. No two people perceive things exactly the same. Thus we are influenced differently. I believe the mind is the soul and it continues after death.

I have a large print of a Victorian house with a wrap around porch, sitting next to a stream with a stone bridge and path leading to a barn. With a red sunset and tall blue and white mountains in the background. In the foreground left are two birch trees (my grandma liked birch trees). This is my idea of heaven and when I get there I know the ones I love who have gone before will be there. The ones who come after will find me there.

Those who don't believe will tell me I am lying to myself. To that I my answer is if I'm wrong and there is no afterlife, I'll never know.

Thanks for stopping by. See you tomorrow,

Ken

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Fishing Down & Hunting Slow at Reedsburg Dam Fall 2015

Day 9

Reedsburg Dam Northern Pike 2012

The last two winters have been extra cold here and the ice has been extra thick, over 20" on Houghton Lake. Basically when the ice gets thick the vegetation gets less winter sun and can't produce enough oxygen for the fish. Each winter some of the fish die off. This is known as winter kill. With the ice extra thick more fish die. So although fishing has been good it hasn't been great, as it has been in previous years. Two years ago in the late summer and early fall there was a tremendous run on crappie on the low side of the dam. The year before that it was smallmouth bass, before that it was northern pike, and so on.

Reedsburg Dam Crappie 2013

Fishing for sunfish and bass on the flooding from a boat has always been great. This year though it was interfered with when the DNR decided to upgrade the boat launch with new slabs and a removable dock. The removal of the old slabs started at the end of June and construction wasn't finished until August. Without the boats buzzing around the lake the vegetation grew wild and made maneuvering through the seaweed near impassable. I use a two man boat with an electric trolling motor for power. I never even put my boat in at Reedsburg this year. I was afraid my 50 lb thrust trolling motor wouldn't be able to cut through the weeds. Normally I enjoy fishing Reedsburg flooding as there aren't to many boats and it's a bit more of a challenge. But this year the challenge was just too much.

 Bass Raider Two Man Boat at Backus Lake

Hunting also seems to be down possibly due to the warm weather. Normally I see a large number of hunters at Reedsburg but not this year.  The season is still young though and I'll wait and see. If another warm day comes along I may sneak over to Reedsburg and try some fishing.

Until tomorrow take care.

Ken  

Ultimate Holiday Fight Shopping on Pay Per View

Day 8

  

One of the worlds largest retailers announced today that they will be selling "pay-per-view" viewing of the holiday shopping frenzy that occurs during their Black Friday sales events.

In store specials will no longer be scheduled for different times during the day. All specials will begin at the same time. Executives believe this will increase the "action" between shoppers scrambling and ultimately fighting over deals located throughout the store from one end to the other. Store security cameras be used to capture the "live feed" of the spectacle.

An anonymous source disclosed that the decision came to monetize the shopping carnage after reviewing the growing popularity of cable "reality shows" and Ultimate Fighting events, the no holds barred style of fighting also popular on cable. Citing the "need to cut losses" incurred by the super low prices of items on sale.

"We needed a way to make up for the loss of profit on the items we sell much to cheaply. Our investors expect the highest possible profits, after all."

The pay-per-view idea has been in the pipeline for several years. Some personal rights groups believe the recording of people without their consent is wrong and an invasion of their privacy rights. Store attorneys have argued that by entering stores the shoppers are giving their permission to be recorded on the security cameras and that the stores retain the rights to use the recordings to make money any way they deem acceptable.

"Where's mommy?" 

(This shopping orphan was left to hold a place in line while his parents went off to other parts of the store for super sale items. The parents never returned)

When shoppers were asked if they had concerns most replied, "I'm OK with it as long as I can TiVo it to watch later. What the hell I could be on TV."

Plans are also in the works for blu ray and dvd to be released before the next holiday season.

Note: Don't believe everything you read on the internet.

Until tomorrow remember "Laughter is the best medicine."

Ken

Tales from Deer Camp Opening Day Humor

Day 7

"These stories are so funny."

When I was growing up in Royal Oak (a suburb of Detroit), for several Thanksgiving weekends, my father would pack my mother, brother and I into the car and drive north to a small town in northern Michigan called Glennie to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins. This would be the tail end of the deer hunting season and both my uncle and my father being avid deer hunters had plenty of stories to tell.

Things heard around a campfire at deer camp.

"A month before opening day I went out to my super secret hunting spot that no one else knows about and built the ultimate deer blind out of pine boughs. On opening day, just before dawn, I went back to my spot and started looking for the blind. After several hours of searching, stomping and cussing, I gave up and came back to camp. Seems I had done such a good job of building the hunting blind that I couldn't see it."

"Hey. Got anymore of those baked beans?"
"Whew! You've had too much already!"

"I had noticed a huge buck with a twelve point rack following this particular deer run a couple of times before and felt certain he would return. It wasn't long and I was rewarded with the biggest buck I had ever seen cautiously moving along the trail. Suddenly he stopped in a small clearing and I could see his ears swivel. He must have heard something. The presentation was perfect. I slowly raised my rifle and sighted in just behind the buck's shoulder. I pulled the hammer back and steadied my breathing. As I let out the last breath I squeezed the trigger. CLICK! I had forgotten to load a round into the chamber. Quickly I jacked a round into the chamber but the deer was gone."

"I had purchased a new gun. It was love at first sight when I saw that black barrel beauty. I was hesitant to buy it, opening day was the next day and I wouldn't have time to sight it in. The salesman behind the counter insured me that the sights came already set at the factory. Spot-on up to one hundred yards. I didn't expect to make a shot any farther away than that where I would be huntin'. I slapped my cash down and left with my new rifle. The next day I saw the largest buck I've ever seen. It had to have at least 14 points. I swung my new rifle up and got off a quick shot. The buck dropped into a crouch, looking for the source of the noise. I sighted in more carefully and tried again. The pine bough above and to the left of the deer broke off showering snow to the ground. The buck jumped, white tail in the air and ran off in the opposite direction. Later I went to the range and discovered the sights were NOT set at the factory."

"So I was just sittin' there when my stomach gave a rumble. I paid it no mind when suddenly I let one go that sounded like a lighthouse fog horn. Strangely enough I heard an answering call from the woods to my right. It was a buck snortin' and from the sound of it it must have been a trophy size. I couldn't quite see it so I let go another blast.This one comin' easier than the first, if you know what I mean. Sure enough the ol' fellow answered with a shrill bawl. I felt I could chance one more trumpet blast but this one I gave an extra push, seeking maximum volume. Long I waited, listening.There was no other sound. I noticed a fowl odor that did not go away even though there was a strong wind. I moved to another spot to get away from the stench. No relief. I moved again but I could not get free of the reek. It was after I returned to camp, amidst the others, mostly keeping their distance, I realized the odor was emanating from me. It seems I pushed too hard on the last one. Nothing that a shower and clean underwear couldn't fix."

"I was sittin' on a ridge lookin' down on the biggest buck in the county, possibly the whole state. It was dead in the sights of my favorite antique Remington .30-.06 bolt action huntin' rifle that I had inherited from my granddad. I squeezed the trigger and nothing happened. I worked the bolt and chambered a new round, took a deep breath and tried again. Nothing. I watched the big white flag jumping through the pines and quickly disappear. I was so angry I smashed my gun against the oak tree I was standing behind and broke the stock. Later I realized the safety had been on."

"Well I was all set up and comfortable when I had a sudden need to answer the call of nature. Quickly I crawled out of my blind and searched for a spot downwind to do my business. I stripped down to my long johns, opened the flap and backed up to a tree to hide my white backside from view. Just as I finished up I realized all I had was white toilet paper. Nobody from the camp was hunting in my area so I was feeling pretty safe using white instead of hunters orange. Just as I reached around to clean myself, I heard a gun shot. I dropped down and looked in the direction of the shot. Then there was another shot and some snow fell out of a tree near me. I pulled up my pants and started to run, toilet paper trailing behind. When I returned to camp and heard one of the other hunters telling a story about the one he missed, I thanked God they don't set the sights at the factory."

A few of the stories I have heard over the years. Happy Hunting. Until tomorrow then keep your powder, and other things, dry.

Ken

My New Amazon Kindle Fire Review

Day 6

I just received my new Amazon Fire tablet reader. I'm very excited. I have wanted a Kindle reader for a long time now. There are just so many (over a million) free books on Amazon but it gets tedious reading on my laptop and I can't read in bed. So when I saw the latest edition Kindle for just $49.99 I had to do it. The low price comes with startup advertising and the new Fire can be purchased with the ads for I believe $15 more.

Kindle Fire 7"

First the shipping was very fast. I ordered on Tuesday, November 10th and I received it Friday, November 13th. Out of the box it comes with the tablet and a usb charging cable and usb wall plug. It is a 7" screen with 8gb expandable using up to a 128gb sd memory card. I ordered just the Kindle tablet with no other accessories opting to purchase them later if I want them.

When I turned the unit on it asked for my language and then font size small, medium, large. And is currently plugged into the wall outlet while updating the software. It did come with 74% charge but they recommend plugging it in to prevent running out of power during the upgrade.

So far I've primarily checked out the Kindle app that comes with it. I am currently reading Anna Karenina. I'm just trying a variety of classic novels.

Even though the screen is not Hi Def it still has vibrant colors and the book pages are clear and bright. I may report more later after I have more time to play with it.

Thanks for stopping by. Tomorrow "Tales from a Deer Camp" in honor of opening day for rifle deer season.

Ken

Houghton Lake Bye Bye Birdie a Delight

The audience filed into the auditorium waiting breathlessly for the start of the school play. A special treat. Backstage, last minute touches were applied to the stage props and costumes. The actors nervously rehearsed their lines one last time before the curtain went up. Showtime. The play went off flawlessly without a hitch and finished to a standing ovation of the 300+ students and parents. That was 1973 and the only school play I ever acted in. It was glorious.

The Houghton Lake High School production of Bye Bye Birdie went off smoothly if not flawlessly. There were some apparent jitters as some of the lines seemed a bit hurried at times. And one or two momentary pauses as though lines had been temporarily forgotten. Such is opening night.

The opening night gremlins were also present and up to their old tricks. The audio system filled with static several times during the first act, possibly the result of static electricity due to the inclement weather and the costume sweaters. And numerous times the microphones cut out. Through all of this the company maintained professionalism and continued on as if nothing happened.

My hat's off to all the cast members for a fine performance. And to the performers who sang the solo numbers a job well done. I know that it's difficult to be onstage in front of friends and family but that it a hundred times harder to sing (unless you've been drinking in a karaoke bar). Overall the evening was delightful and the cast and crew appeared to have fun. Kudos to the orchestra who also played very well.

If your going to either the Friday or Saturday performance and don't already have your tickets, I suggest getting there a little early as the seats are assigned and it takes a while to get though the line at the box office.

Until tomorrow then. Good night.

Ken

Two Burritos and the Joy of Painting

Recently I came across an old PBS show called The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross, I find it utterly amazing this man could take 8-12 dabs of paint, a 2" standard paint brush, a fantail brush and a 1" paint scraper (palette knife) and magically jab, dab, swish and scrape a beautiful landscape painting that many people would pay large amounts of money to own. And do it in just 30-45 minutes.

After the Rain by Bob Ross

So your wondering where the two burritos comes in. I ate one when having lunch with my mom and my aunt and my cousins. The first one was so good that I ate another for dinner. A few hours later while watching the Joy of Painting on Youtube, I get an irresistible urge. Suddenly i have an overwhelming desire to run to the bathroom before I paint a masterpiece of my own.

Now I know why Picasso painted The Scream...he couldn't make it of the pier in time,

The Scream by Picasso

The moral of the story is don't eat (the american idea of) Mexican food twice in the same day but if you do keep a roll of toilet paper handy and don't stray too far from a commode or you'll be making a Scream of your own.

Books I am currently reading: Dantes Divine Comedy, Stuart Woods Stone Barrington series, Robert E. Keller Knights series and LeRoy Neimen autobiography.

Gotta put this one to bed. Until tomorrow,

Ken 

Wednesday With Mom

Day 3


Why is it I wake up in the morning and jump out of bed feeling refreshed until I remember I'm spending the day with my mother, then suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head until tomorrow?

My mother is a master purveyor of negativity. It rolls off her tongue like lies from a politician. No one believes me when I tell them. Anyone who meets her thinks she's just a sweet old lady. She just smiles and nods her white mantled head while deciding whether she'll devour their hopes and dreams right then or wait until later. She's patient, my mother is, she'll wait until she has you completely fooled and then, oh so slowly, she'll start to whisper in your ear until your hopes and dreams have vanished. The Grinch loved Christmas before he meet my mother.

Today we went on a road trip to see my aunt and a couple of cousins. A mini family reunion if you will. My mom and my aunt are the only two of five siblings surviving. Curiously of the five my mom is the oldest and my aunt is the youngest. I suspect there may be a plot to "out live" all of us. My mother has already suggested she might out live my brothers and me (I only drink unopened bottled water when I visit her).

I pulled up in front of the door to her assisted living complex and she worked her way into the car. Right away she started in on the cook in the dining room. Breakfast was 4 sausage patties and a dry biscuit with no butter or jelly. She had her usual Cheerios. Dinner last night was suppose to be turkey but it couldn't be because the gravy was brown and everybody knows turkey gravy is white. I could have told her that I have seen brown turkey gravy that comes in a can but I was too smart to take the bait and just nodded my agreement.

The manager was having a Veterans Day celebration according to mom "just score points". Wednesday is evening bingo but as my mom noted "the prize box is full of junk". Once again I pointed out to her that the bingo is a courtesy for the residents and prizes are a bonus. This was answered with a withering scowl. After another round of which residents are "sick in the head" I just grunted. She doesn't really pay attention to me when she's complaining, so I can grunt, hiccup or fart, it doesn't matter so long as I make some noise of agreement.

We arrived at my cousins house after an hour of gloom. As we pulled into the driveway the sweet old woman persona surfaced instantaneously. We had a nice visit and before we left my aunt pulled me aside to ask how things were at the residence. She knows what my mom is really like. As I unloaded on my aunt  all of the injustices, I had to stop and take a deep breath, I had promised myself I wouldn't cry as that would not be befitting of a 56 year old man. My aunt just shook her head in sympathy and gave me a hug and a "go with God".

It was a relatively quiet ride home as my mother contemplated the parting remark of a cousin.

"We should get together again soon because you just never know."

Seems she has been attending a lot of funerals lately. Finally my mom looked over at me with an eager gleam in her eye.

"How are you feeling, kiddo?"

It was a very fast ride home.

Until tomorrow remember, don't believe everything you read on the internet.

Ken

Tomorrow a list of books I am currently reading. Goodnight.

An Evening of Theater Houghton Lake High School Presents the Musical Bye Bye Birdie

Day 2 of 365


I love going to the theater for live performances. When I lived in Royal Oak (Detroit suburb) I saw many popular and some not so popular productions. I've seen Cats, Annie and Showboat done professionally as well as Lil' Abner at a local high school to name a few. Nothing compares to seeing a live performance on stage when often an actor with a small part will stand out. Such was the case with the Lil' Abner I attended. When Marryin' Sam sang with Daisy Mae "I'm Past My Prime" the actor playing Marryin' Sam just stole the show. Here is live version I found on Youtube.

"I'm Past My Prime"

From Lil' Abner

It has been my pleasure since moving here in 2005 to enjoy an evening of theater at both Houghton Lake High School and Kirtland Community College. I have yet to see what Roscommon High School has to offer but I will.

These high school programs need your support so come out and see "Bye Bye Birdie" Who knows you may see a superstar in the making.

Houghton Lake High School drama students will be taking on the musical Bye Bye Birdie this season November 12-14 starting at 7:00 pm, Tickets are $8 & $10.

"What's Wrong with These Kids Today?"

From Bye Bye Birdie

That's all  for now. Come back tomorrow when I supply another gem.

Ken

Mid Michigan Writers Group Is Awesome

Hello,
This is the first post to my new blog. I plan to post everyday about my life here in Houghton Lake, Michigan. I'll write about some of the events and other things happening around town. Most of it real with a little "blarney" mixed in. From the general store with the two old guys playing checkers, to the barber shop philosophy and, of course, the fish stories. The coffee is always hot, the cider cold and the stories are plentiful. So if you enjoy what you read share it with your friends.

Today is the second Monday of the month which means the Mid Michigan Writers are meeting in West Branch. Tonight is special as it is the first meeting that I will be the moderator, I was voted in at the last meeting by near unanimous yea vote, with one nay vote (mine). I'm sure this will be an honor and a lot of fun. I enjoy the group and look forward to the meetings twice each month ( the second and fourth Monday).

Mid Michigan Writers are a great bunch who are serious about writing and offer constructive criticism of each others work. Two members read something they recently wrote for critique by the group. No more than ten pages double spaced if you run over you'll have to save it for the next opening. We schedule will who read for us once a quarter at the business meeting. Even though we schedule ahead all members are encouraged to bring something to read in case we have an opening or the scheduled readings are short as is often the case with poems.

So if you are a writer or an aspiring writer who doesn't know where to start. and interested in interacting with like minded people. Come to one of our meetings held in the downstairs meeting room of the West Branch Public Library on the second and fourth Monday each month at 6:30 pm. For more information about the group, the groups activities and the benefits of membership click here Mid Michigan Writers. Let us you know you saw this article (it will make me feel good) and I hope to see you at one of our meetings.

Note: No meeting on December 14th do to our Christmas Dinner. I'll be sure to post about that after.

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you'll come back soon and often.