I went to a Lutheran school while growing up in lower Michigan. We spoke often of forgiveness and forgiving others. It comes with the territory in Christianity (not preaching here just setting the background). Through eight years of bible study and wonderful stories, I learned I should forgive others for the hurt they cause me either intentional or otherwise. It was one of the key requirements for entry into heaven (still not preaching). I don't remember being told of the other advantages.
Here comes the story.
As my brother and I were driving home from getting our tickets for this weekends showing of Dashing Through the Snow, we decided to take the scenic route. This was one of the reasons I moved to a small town in northern Michigan; I wanted to slow down, take in the scenery and smell the pine trees (not many Roses here). I've been halfway around the world and seen many beautiful places. Michigan is still at the top of my list partly because it's home. But I digress.
While driving around Higgins Lake we discussed different things as brothers often do, when I inquired about my grand nephew. He's lost his way and been a great concern to the family. This led to other topics. A good old fashion bitch session, something older people do now and then to relieve us of our concerns. My brother can be very outspoken when he is passionate about a subject. At the top of his list is family. Recently he said some things that were gnawing at him. A heat of the moment rant. Now his grandson isn't speaking to him. There needs to be some forgiveness on both sides.
I have pondered forgiveness recently because there are people I have wronged over the years. I would ask them to forgive me. Not for my personal well being but for their own.
It's not easy. There are some people who would willingly throw themselves in front of a train before forgiving someone who wronged them thereby letting the wrong doer off the hook.
When someone wrongs us whether real or imagined, it plants a seed. A life destroying, soul corrupting seed of anger and discontent. Some times it grows instantly, sometimes slowly over years, even after we've forgotten what it was that hurt us. Until we end up bitter, seeing fault were there is none. And whom do we hurt? If the other person is indifferent or oblivious to the problem then they are certainly not being hurt. In the end we mostly just end up hurting ourselves.
There's a conventional wisdom which states "Laughter is the best medicine". I wholeheartedly agree. Laughter works the muscles, while clearing the mind of unhealthy worries and relieving stress, which helps the body to heal. But laughter is only a temporary solution, unless we want to walk around looking like a blithering idiot, laughing all of the time. Great for the abs though.
There's a better way.
Another old adage says, "To err is human, to forgive is divine". I'm an old sinner and have no illusions of being divine (now I'm preaching). After many a drive around the lakes and many hours considering what I have learned over the years, I've found forgiveness is not about giving the other person a pass for what they've done. It's about grabbing the weed of hate, anger and sorrow and tearing it out by the roots. So that you can begin to heal and even laugh again (which as I've said is great for healing).
I don't have all the answers; I make mistakes like anyone else. But I do know the sweet release of forgiveness and the clarity of mind it can bring. It's like a dark veil being lifted from your eyes.
So my advice is to forgive and be at peace.
Until tomorrow,
Ken
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