Musings From My Mind: Computer Dating

Day 23

Back in the 70's, when I was much younger, my cousin convinced me that she had a friend who liked me. The plan was I would call this friend on the phone and ask her if she wanted to go to the varsity basketball game on friday night. I felt scared, excited and queasy all at the same time. What if she didn't like me? What if she said no? What if she said yes? I broke out in a cold sweat. My mouth and throat felt like the Sahara desert at midday. I picked up the phone and started to dial then hung up. I dialed again, the phone on the other end started to ring. What if mother answered? What if her father answered? I was facing the firing squad without a blindfold. She said yes. I went through hell and came out the other side and found paradise.

I dated that same girl for eight years through high school and college. She became the other half of my life, the better half even. We had our ups and downs as any couple does. It's all a part of growing. In the end, we grew apart. She wanted to get married and I just wasn't ready. It may not have been the best relationship I ever had but it's in the top two. She set the bar awfully high.

(Had to stop for a glass of wine, I was getting all choked up)

As I aged it became easier to ask but more difficult to date. I always felt I was being compared to the "Ex". Checking for similar flaws to the last guy. Eventually I met someone with the same ambitions as me and a personality similar to my high school sweetheart. We didn't always agree; we learned about each other. We were together for eleven years until her untimely passing at the age of 43. This was the other of my top two relationships. Both relationships took courage and compromise and time to develop.

Nowadays young people simply fill out a form on the computer and a dating sight shows them several of the best possibilities for a successful relationship. My favorite commercial is when the young woman says, "I don't have time...". OK the bar scene may not be your best bet to finding true love, there are other places to look. I have to wonder if she doesn't have time to look for a relationship (the reason for the speed and convenience of using a dating service), how will she find time to HAVE a relationship.

The dating companies brag about the number of marriages resulting from their match making services. They never mention how many end in divorce. How long do their match ups last?

I never started a relationship with the soul purpose of getting married. I did it for the experience and companionship and the love.

Take a chance. Ask someone your interested in. Don't wait for a computer to set you up with yourself. Variety is the spice of life.

Until tomorrow,

Ken