Blanket Wars

Day 291

We were ensconced in our hastily constructed castle, taking enemy fire from the front. So far it had been an even contest. When our side ran low on ammunition, we would simply wait until the other side launched a barrage and collect their spent ammo. When they ran low they would do the same. Neither side scored a hit as each fortress was well designed and constructed to withstand any siege.

But our enemy was crafty and had more years of experience. They had a secret weapon, a biological weapon and they employed it contrary to the accepted the rules of civilized war. I clawed at my throat as I tried to take a breath, my lungs burning. I was so disoriented that I made a fatal mistake. I

stood up and took a round square into my right eye.

"Hey, no fair. We agreed, no head shots."

******

When I was growing up in Royal Oak, we didn't see our cousins very often, due mostly to the distance between our homes. They lived in Ionia about a hundred and fifty miles away. Yet on occasion our families would get together, and seeing as how my two cousins, Bob and Paul, were about the same age as my brother Tom and I, we found interesting ways to keep ourselves occupied when they visited.

My aunt and uncle had come to visit with our grandparents and before returning home, they stopped for a quick visit with our mom and dad. It was a surprise to be sure but a welcome one. We had several hours to "stay out of trouble".

As our parents gathered in the kitchen and talked, we went to the basement to see what mischief we could get into. The basement of our house was heated and had a tile floor and drop ceiling which unfortunately didn't quite soundproof the lower room from the main floor. We had to keep quiet or suffer silently watching Lawrence Welk and his champagne bubbles in the family room, our version of a "time out". Cruel and unusual punishments were widely accepted back in the late 60's and early 70's.

There was some old furniture, a utility table and some blankets and sheets well past their prime. We paired off, the younger cousins against the older ones, each creating a cloth fort at either end of the basement. There was about fifteen feet in between christened No Man's Land, for to step out in the open meant certain doom. I can't remember who supplied the large red rubber bands, I just know they were at a premium, if you broke one or lost one, they couldn't be replaced.

Mostly when shooting a rubber band we hooked it around our finger then pulled back, aimed and let 'er fly. We didn't stretch them very long because when released they slapped the back of the hand. After a short time, the back of my hand was cherry red and sore. Still I fought on. That is until my brother and cousin Bob came up with the ultimate strategy still used today by some nefarious terrorist groups.

We had no idea they had discovered a broken mop handle in the laundry room while we were building. It was the equivalent of a long gun with no pain to the user. With it they could pull their rubber band back a full four feet and wait for the optimal target exposure before releasing as the bands wouldn't slip of the end of the mop handle the way they did a finger.

The second part of their two prong attack, consisted of using a chemical weapon my brother Tom had begun to cultivate at an early age. A long range stink bomb with pin point accuracy.

They had held onto one last projectile and waited for us to come out and retrieve the ammo from in front of our fort. But we reached out from under the blanket wall and pulled them back under without exposing more than an arm. That's when they decided to go renegade and use "the stink bomb". It was as brilliant as it was diabolical, and it worked to perfection. 

I knew what it was as soon as it bounced of the top blanket and landed behind us, like a perfectly thrown grenade. I knew that sour funk. It was one of my brothers sweaty socks. I never saw it coming, as I stood to protest, cousin Bob nailed me in the eye.

With my hand over my eye I felt certain I would lose my eye, or my sight would at least be greatly diminished. A confab was held and I was told if I didn't stop whining, they would put the sock in my mouth until I passed out. The operation had to remain covert and kept from the attention of the adults. In other words, keep quite. Lawrence Welk was still on the television. Fortunately the damage to my eye was a temporary stinging sensation and a little redness.

Since my cousin Bob and Tom had cheated with both the mop handle and the stinky sock, my cousin Paul declared us the winners of the Blanket War. A discussion of the merits of this declaration ensued, but we didn't have long to argue as my aunt and uncle wanted to get started on the long drive home.

We didn't know it then, but the four of us would not get together again until a family reunion many years later.

Until tomorrow,

Ken